White Meats I Personally Find Much Sexier Than Blake Shelton, Ranked


20. Chicken lunch meat

19. Chicken McNuggets

18. Uncooked Oscar Mayer turkey bacon

17. Turkey lunch meat

16. Campbell’s chicken-noodle-soup chicken

15. The tiny white cubes found in mortadella

14. The fatty part of the Easter ham my mom used to make that she’d chop up and put into eggs for breakfast and make them really yummy


13. Yak meat

12. Hen meat

11. Potpie chicken cubes

10. Boston Market rotisserie half-chickens

9. The tiny spaces of whiteness between the red when you buy salami, Italian sausage or capocollo

8. Pork tenderloin

7. Chicken breasts

6. Slices of smoked pork

5. Chicken thighs

4. The first few slices of Thanksgiving turkey

3. Uncooked bacon fat

2. Pork-chop meat

1. Bacon fat

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)


Denzel Washyourtongue

I’m willing to bet that Blake Shelton, smells like at least two of those meets on a consistent basis.