The vast—the overwhelming—majority of white people living in a state in the United States of America in 2017 voted Tuesday for an alleged serial pedophile; a sentient cauldron of microwaved racist lettuce who said, out of his own wretched mouth, that every amendment after the 10th wrecked “the form of government that our forefathers intended”; a shameless piece of shit who’s so thoroughly creepy that he was (allegedly) banned from a mall. (Seriously, how much of a shit heel must you be to get banned from Hot Topic and Auntie Anne’s?)

Of course, these white people needed black people to save themselves from themselves, again. Asking us, again, to transmute into bulletproof vests and dive into the path of their bullets while they played Russian roulette, again. Our vests weren’t strong enough to save them (and us) from Donald Trump, but apparently we found some reinforced Kevlar in Alabama.

So, please, everyone in America, thank the black people of Alabama (and Ohio, and Texas, and North Carolina, and Pennsylvania, and Florida, and Georgia, and Maryland, and Virginia, and ... ) for being so damn bulletproof. And then join me in asking white people why they so desperately want to die.