Theo Stroomer/Getty Images
Theo Stroomer/Getty Images

According to exit poll numbers, 13% of the Black men who voted in the Presidential election voted for Donald Trump.


Yeah, I know.

This even surpasses the number of Black male voters who went for both McCain and Romney.


I know that too.

Can you explain how that happened? Why would 13% of Black men vote for this man?

Because some niggas is stupid.

Really? Some niggas is stupid? That's your explanation?

Yes. There's really no need to expound. 13% of niggas just don't have the good sense God and Issac Hayes gave them.

Does this surprise you at all?

That 13% of Black men voted for a man who unabashedly engages and cultivates racists like they're grass-fed chickens? Yes. But, that 13% of niggas are dumb enough to do that? Nah.


Why not?

Because, generally speaking, 13% of niggas are dumb. If you grabbed a random sampling of 10 niggas, between 1 and 1.3 of them are going to prone to prolonged bouts of dumbassshitness. It's science.


Now, I'm aware the 13% of niggas being dumber than a misspelled yield sign stat sounds brutal. But for comparison's sake, 21% of men generally are dumb. So there are actually less dumb as the fuck Black men than dumb as the fuck men in general.

Interesting! Why do you think this is?

Niggas just can't afford to be dumb, which is something we all know, so it's usually shamed/beaten by tree branches of love out of us at a young age. Grown-ass dumb-ass Black men end up on WorldStar or named "Tyga." Grown-ass dumb-ass White men end up in the White House.


So if you happen to meet a grown-ass dumb-ass nigga, know that his stupidity is intentional. Premeditated. Calculated. That he's had decades worth of grandmas and teachers and coaches and homies and barbers and lovers desperately trying to iron some sense into his natural Black ass — some even willing to sacrifice their own asses for his — but he was so set on being a dumb motherfucker that it didn't matter. Know that this nigga tried his damn hardest to be dumb; he studied stupidity; he gave more effort — more blood, sweat, and tears — into intellectual fuckshitlery than anything else.

Be afraid of that nigga. Be very afraid.

This is quite fascinating. So, if you don't mind me asking, how does a grown-ass Black man end up being so damn stupid?


There are myriad possible causes. Some are so obsessed with being close to Whiteness — being loved and accepted by White people or constructing himself in the White man's image (or both) — that it fries their brain cells; effectively turning them into a crumpled pair of Wrangler jeans. Some are hamstrung by patriarchy, where latent misogyny is so deeply embedded into their psyches that they're not even aware its there. Some treat Christianity like a bottomless brunch buffet; deciding to choose which parts of the Bible they'll follow and which ones they'll ignore. ("Lemme have the Eggs Rockefeller and the disdain for gay marriage. But I'll pass on the no premarital sex. That shit can stay in the tray.") Some order all of their reading material from the ads in the back of Smooth Magazine. And some just got really caught up in Pre-Paid Legal in the late 90s.

Add each of these populations together (and control for the overlap) and you have 10 to 13% of niggas.


Thank you for the explanation!

You're welcome! Any time!

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a columnist for, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

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