Why Conservatives Are So Upset About President Obama's Photo In Front Of A Che Guevara Mural, Explained

Joe Raedle/Getty Images
Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Earlier today, President Obama (the first U.S. president to visit Cuba in 88 years) and a group of government officials were photographed in front of a mural depicting Che Guevara.

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Naturally, some conservatives seemed pretty upset by this.

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A guy in a coffee shop I was in today even said something about the beans tasting re-roasted. Which I know was totally code for "Thanks, Obama, for flushing America down the shitter."

I guess I just want to know why? Why is it that everything he does seems to tickle the GOP knickers so fiercely?

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Because they're a bunch of bitch-ass bitches.

Bitch-ass bitches? Really? That's your answer?

Yes it is. Bitch. Ass. Bitches. Maybe I'll add a mark in there. And perhaps another ass. Mark-ass, bitch-ass, bitches. But that's pretty much it. If fact, if you looked up mark-ass, bitch-ass, bitch in the dictionary, you'd see a picture of Mitch McConnell — the HBABIC (Head Bitch Ass Bitch In Charge) — doing some bitch-ass shit. Like refusing to even meet with President Obama's Supreme Court nominee. Or eating tuna salad on an unseasoned croton. Mark-ass, bitch-ass, bitch.

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That answer doesn't possess the nuance and wit I've come to expect from you. When did you turn into O-Dog?

We already know that these people who scoff at and reject every single thing our President has done or attempted to do in the last eight years are hypocrites, liars, racists, sexists, homophobes, misogynists, nihilists, chickenhawks, and accidental sociopaths. So I've run out of things to say. Hence the mark-ass, bitch-ass, bitch.

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But, if you prefer something else, how about trash-ass niggas? I can be versatile.

Trash-ass niggas?

Yes. Directed here by Kevin Garnett towards Eric Gordon…

…trash-ass nigga is also an effective way to articulate when people are trash-ass niggas. It's actually the most effective way to articulate a trash-ass nigga's inherent trashness. Which, again, are what the conservatives are proving to be.

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Trash-ass niggas?

Correct. Or mark-ass, bitch-ass, bitches. And this is why they're so upset about everything he does.

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Thanks!

You're welcome!

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

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DISCUSSION

So is it possible to criticize the president EVER? What's the appropriate level for a non-bitch a$$? That's the problem with the Obama Presidency: either you agree with everything he does, even the amount of ketchup he puts on his hot dogs, or you're somehow a Lawn Jockey who loves the KKK. Of course, I'm exaggerating for effect. With all the time he's spent in Chicago, Obama probably doesn't put ketchup on his hot dogs. ;-) My point is that there's no such thing as thinking "Gee, that's a dumb idea, Mr. President. How about trying some other ish which I'm going to articulate."

(And for the record, I think that Obama's rapproachment with Cuba and Iran as one of his unqualified good ideas. The rest, like the drones and the healthcare fiasco, are another story.)