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Earlier today, President Obama (the first U.S. president to visit Cuba in 88 years) and a group of government officials were photographed in front of a mural depicting Che Guevara.

Naturally, some conservatives seemed pretty upset by this.

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A guy in a coffee shop I was in today even said something about the beans tasting re-roasted. Which I know was totally code for "Thanks, Obama, for flushing America down the shitter."

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I guess I just want to know why? Why is it that everything he does seems to tickle the GOP knickers so fiercely?

Because they're a bunch of bitch-ass bitches.

Bitch-ass bitches? Really? That's your answer?

Yes it is. Bitch. Ass. Bitches. Maybe I'll add a mark in there. And perhaps another ass. Mark-ass, bitch-ass, bitches. But that's pretty much it. If fact, if you looked up mark-ass, bitch-ass, bitch in the dictionary, you'd see a picture of Mitch McConnell — the HBABIC (Head Bitch Ass Bitch In Charge) — doing some bitch-ass shit. Like refusing to even meet with President Obama's Supreme Court nominee. Or eating tuna salad on an unseasoned croton. Mark-ass, bitch-ass, bitch.

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That answer doesn't possess the nuance and wit I've come to expect from you. When did you turn into O-Dog?

We already know that these people who scoff at and reject every single thing our President has done or attempted to do in the last eight years are hypocrites, liars, racists, sexists, homophobes, misogynists, nihilists, chickenhawks, and accidental sociopaths. So I've run out of things to say. Hence the mark-ass, bitch-ass, bitch.

But, if you prefer something else, how about trash-ass niggas? I can be versatile.

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Trash-ass niggas?

Yes. Directed here by Kevin Garnett towards Eric Gordon…

…trash-ass nigga is also an effective way to articulate when people are trash-ass niggas. It's actually the most effective way to articulate a trash-ass nigga's inherent trashness. Which, again, are what the conservatives are proving to be.

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Trash-ass niggas?

Correct. Or mark-ass, bitch-ass, bitches. And this is why they're so upset about everything he does.

Thanks!

You're welcome!