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Look, I'd be lying if I said I'd heard of either Eid al-Adha or Eid al-Fitr before today. But since, according to Schools Chancellor Carmen Farina, hundreds of thousands of New York City public school kids are Muslim, it makes perfect, logical, and practical sense to close schools on the days these holidays are observed. This isn't Nicole Beharie Day — the holiday I attempted (and, unfortunately, failed) to make a thing after the first time I watched American Violet. No, these are actual holy days in an actual religion that a billion or so actual people actually belong to.

Again, this makes perfect, logical, and practical sense.

Which means that "Conservatives On The Internet" — not "real people conservatives" but the embryonic organism found in Greyhound bathroom toilet seat crevasses and Ted Cruz Facebook fan pages — hate the everlasting shitty shit out of it.

(From the comments section of a place called "NewsMax")

"The next thing we know, the good Mayor will be wanting to establish Shariah courts in the City of New York. I guess we will soon need to refer to that great city now in decline as "Yorkistan."

"What a nice gesture by Mayor DiCommio. Now the youngsters who practice the religion of peace can spend some extra time learning how to build bombs."

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(And, my personal favorite)

"what a piece of poo dirt…"

Similar conversation threads can be found today on Facebook, Twitter, and any website that has published the word "Benghazi" between 17,000 and 262,00o times in the last three years. Which makes me sad when I think of all the ignorance out there. And happy again when I think of how mad they'll be when President Obama makes Jeremiah Wright's birthday a holiday next. (And even happier when realizing someone is going to find that last sentence in a Google search and believe it.)