Let our next greatest achievement be realizing the dream of full equality for all of us ...

- Human Rights Campaign President, Alphonso David, as reported by Maiysha Kai -

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Yeah, Usher...Ummm...Maybe That Wasn't The Best Sweatshirt Slogan Choice

@Usher via Instagram
@Usher via Instagram

***A conversation with Usher and his team of advisers and close friends from last weekend***

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Usher: "I really want to make a statement about the importance of voting; one that resonates and connects with people!"

Person One: "That's great that you're making a political statement! It's definitely necessary, and with someone with your platform and influence, it'll…"

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Usher: "So I took the liberty and had this sweatshirt made through Teespring! It clearly communicates the message I'm trying to convey, which is that remaining silent during political times is a way of co-signing wrongdoing."

(Clearly pleased with himself, a grinning Usher reaches into his LV bookbag and pulls out the sweatshirt. The women in the room gasp. The men shake their heads and look down. Someone leaves the room to make a phantom phone call.)

Usher: "What? You think I should have gone with a bolder color, huh? Maybe a red shirt with white letters. I'll do that the next time."

Person Two: "Umm…that's not really it. I…just…I…"

Usher: "OHHH! You know what would be great? A camo consent shirt. Just to evoke that this is a battle. A war! And we can't afford to take no for an answer."

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(Person Two takes out his phone and starts typing furiously. The team thinks he's responding to a text, but he's really updating his Linkedin page.)

Person Three: "So, we love the idea man — your heart is definitely in the right place — but we collectively think you can come up with an even better slogan. Like 'Go Vote, Man!' Or even 'Vote Or I'll Kill These Puppies.' Or literally anything other than the slogan on that shirt. So let's go back to the drawing board and brainstorm a bit before we do anything publicly."

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Usher: "Nah, this slogan is fine. It's direct and to the point, it uses words that people understand, and on a sweatshirt it looks good with Levi's. And Jesus appeared in one of my dreams yesterday, and told me it would change lives. Plus, I already posted it on Instagram a half hour ago, so now we just have to figure out different color schemes for more sweatshirts. I really like the camo idea. Maybe even camo polkadots, so H&M can carry them. We still have connects at H&M, right?"

(Entire management team gets up, holds hands, walks to the window, and proceeds to jump out. It's only a three foot drop to the ground, though, so they're not committing mass suicide or anything. They're just leaving.)

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

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DISCUSSION

Let's be honest Usher been making a slew of mucked up decisions lately.

Let's start with that faux beard in his latest homage. Fuzz bro, you need some shots of testosterone.

Then let's move on to that basic azzzzz grill he sporting. You gotta come hard if you sporting a grill in the 16.

Let's finish up with them drop draw pants he sporting in said homage to make you say nothing.

On a side note..brotha eat. Eat something. Anything that's gonna put some weight on you. 100 can just be a bill bro. Just a bill